Crazy

As I got out of the airplane from my vacation I felt nauseous. Was I really going to do this? On my way to the bathroom I felt the need to cry. I went in the stall with my carry-on suitcase and began to sob. I just stood there with my hands on my face asking myself if I had gone mad. I had decided to leave my jobs and everything I know in pursuit of my dream.  Putting it all out there so that the universe could help me or break me. But even that severe anxiety couldn't take away the feeling of knowing that this was the right decision for me. I was scared and I allowed to let myself be scared. In that fear I saw all my limitations. I saw everything about me that constantly holds myself back.  I began to doubt myself, my abilities, my instincts, my talents... I began repeating out loud every horrible thing anyone has ever told me about myself that I believed.  Then I remembered the present moment. I looked around and saw the stall, saw my suitcase and the toilet paper filled with fear tears. I remembered what all my guides had emphasized... "Live in the now". And for the very first time I understood it. All I had to do for now was to get something to eat because I was hungry. I didn't have to solve my life in that bathroom that day. And so I bravely took the first step to the rest of my life. I walked out of that stall.